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For the bible scholars

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Jall Find out more about Jall
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  • For the bible scholars

    > >
    > > The Bible.....
    > >
    > > THIS COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED
    > > QUESTIONS
    > > ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS.
    > >
    > > THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN.
    > > THEY
    > > HAVE
    > > NOT BEEN RETOUCHED NOR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
    > >
    > > 1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF
    > >
    > > CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
    > >
    > > 2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS
    > > JOAN
    > >
    > > OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AN ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
    > >
    > > 3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE
    > >
    > > DURING THE NIGHT.
    > >
    > > 4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD
    > > TROUBLE
    > >
    > > WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
    > >
    > > 5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A
    > > JEZEBEL
    > >
    > > LIKE DELILAH.
    > >
    > > 6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
    > >
    > > 7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED
    > > BREAD
    > >
    > > WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
    > >
    > > 8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES
    > >
    > > WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
    > >
    > > 9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
    > >
    > > 10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
    > >
    > > 11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE
    > >
    > > HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
    > >
    > > 12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO
    > >
    > > STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
    > >
    > > 13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE
    > >
    > > FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL
    > > TIMES.
    > >
    > > 14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
    > >
    > > 15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA
    > >
    > > CARTA.
    > >
    > > 16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND
    > >
    > > JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
    > >
    > > 17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
    > >
    > > 18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
    > >
    > > 19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS
    > >
    > > BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY
    > >
    > > SWEAT ALONE.
    > >
    > > 20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO
    > > GET
    > >
    > > THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
    > >
    > > 21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
    > >
    > > 22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
    > >
    > > 23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN..
    > >
    > > 24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY
    > > WHICH
    > >
    > > IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
    > >
    > > 25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
    Jall

    Diagnosed with unobstructed HCM in 2004 after a bad experience playing tennis
    Graduated to obstructed HCM by Dec, 2008.

    Life outside of HCM: Law, Photography, Tennis, Music, raising kids and camping

  • #2

    How very very cute!

    Lisa
    Knowledge is power ... Stay informed!
    YOU can make a difference - all you have to do is try!

    Dx age 12 current age 46 and counting!
    lost: 5 family members to HCM (SCD, Stroke, CHF)
    Others diagnosed living with HCM (or gene +) include - daughter, niece, nephew, cousin, sister and many many friends!
    Therapy - ICD (implanted 97, 01, 04 and 11, medication
    Currently not obstructed
    Complications - unnecessary pacemaker and stroke (unrelated to each other)

    Comment


    • #3
      ROFL :P
      \"Hope is disappointment postponed\"

      Dx in 2004, first symptoms 20 years ago? Obstructed, A-fib, family history!

      Combined Morrow and (left atrial) Maze procedures & PVI at St. Antonius Hospital, Netherlands, March 28, 2013.

      Meds (past) propranolol, metoprolol, disopyramide, sotalol, amiodaron, aspirin, dabigatran, acenocoumarol.

      Meds (current) sotalol, dabigatran, furosemide.

      Comment

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