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Old Folks

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Glen Beamish Find out more about Glen Beamish
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  • Old Folks

    Old Folks

    A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
    ********************************
    An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
    ********************************
    Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says. "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
    ********************************
    An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
    ********************************
    Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
    Every great thing that has ever happened since the beginning of time has started as a single thought in someones mind.
    So if you are capable of thought then you are capable of great things
    Good luck and stay well.
    Glen

  • #2
    Re: Old Folks

    Hey Glen,
    Why are you talking about my friends that way? Golly, I didn’t even know you knew them.

    Actually Shirley and I play bridge at the Senior Center twice a week, and your brain has to work well if you want to play that game. Yet a number of women there are in their upper eighties, and two of the men are in their nineties. You wouldn’t want to challenge any of them to a battle of wits. You would probably loose. You’d do much better challenging them to a foot race. At least there you’d have a chance.

    I swear, these people know you can’t take it with you – so they just ain’t going. Now that’s brilliance.
    Burt

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    • #3
      Re: Old Folks

      I think the foot race is out too.
      With my hip I'm sure several of them would run over me with their walkers as they passed me.
      Every great thing that has ever happened since the beginning of time has started as a single thought in someones mind.
      So if you are capable of thought then you are capable of great things
      Good luck and stay well.
      Glen

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      • #4
        Re: Old Folks

        So you do know them after all –
        Burt

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        • #5
          Re: Old Folks

          Glen,

          Those are great. Keep them coming...If you can remeber where they go...


          Tigger1
          " Real Courage Is Being Scared To Death But Saddling-Up Anyway "

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