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16 Things


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Burton Borrok Find out more about Burton Borrok
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  • 16 Things

    16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: by Dave Barry , Nationally Syndicated Columnist

    1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

    2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

    3. People who jump to conclusions never solve a problem.

    4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

    5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

    6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

    7. Never lick a steak knife.

    8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

    9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

    10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

    11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

    12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

    13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

    14. Your friends love you anyway.

    15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

    16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine.. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

  • #2
    Re: 16 Things

    Burt, they were great, certainly a way more truth than fiction.
    Every great thing that has ever happened since the beginning of time has started as a single thought in someones mind.
    So if you are capable of thought then you are capable of great things
    Good luck and stay well.


    • #3
      Re: 16 Things

      I really like that last one.I accidentally made the mistake of asking a women at a picnic if she was pregnant ,and as soon as I said it I knew I was done. she promptly said no and I spent the better part of 10 min. trying to extract the foot out of my mouth.thanks Burton.Also you mentioned living in my neck of the woods nassau new york I actually lived first in astoria and then rosedale till I was about 25 Now I live in valley stream its the first town in nassau county. your not missing much.Its probably a lot nicer out in nevada.though I must say you scared me w/ your casual reference to temperatures over 100 degrees. I hope your having a great day God bless mike ob
      One day at a time.


      • #4
        Re: 16 Things

        Hey Mike,
        I lived in Laurelton and graduated elementary school (8th grade) from PS 38 in Rosedale. You probably don’t go back far enough, but maybe your parents will remember the potato farm at the intersection of Merrick Road and the Beltway. They built a large garden apartment complex on the land, and that’s where I lived when I was drafted.

        It’s a small world. I remember after serving close to a year in Korea, one of the men in the next tent, who was rotating home, started talking about everything he was going to do, and it sounded more and more familiar. As it turned out he lived about two blocks from me. When he got home he was nice enough to visit my mom, tell her all about our camp, and even brought a batch of pictures for her to see.

        I guess it’s true, what goes around, comes around. I was a cook and served with a bunch of professional cooks in Division Rep’l. Dep’l. They wanted to keep sharp, so we wound up serving gourmet food to all the troops – and division officers ate with us as our guests. There was nothing we couldn’t get if we wanted it. Anyway, I guess the troops enjoyed the food, because we sure got treated well – like that guy from my home town visiting my mom.

        About the 100 degree heat – it sometimes breaks into the 110’s too – but lately it’s been a lot cooler. I think the forecast is for temperatures below 100 for all but one day in the next five. Fall starts around the third or fourth week in October, and then we’re in for fine weather for the next seven or eight months – including jackets in the winter. The weather is dry here in the desert. It’s surprisingly cool in the winter, and very hot and arid in the summer. You have to be real careful about dehydration, and staying in cars even for a short time. Loosing pets is too common, and you always hear about one or two children dieing of the heat every summer.

        The last one was a mother who left one child in the car while she went to pick up her infant. She was delayed a half hour and her child was taken from the car and rushed to the hospital – but died the next day. The temperature in cars can hit 180 degrees in a matter of a minute or two. We are always surprised that more tourists in the summer don’t die from the heat, but I suspect they take one breath of outside air and go back into the air conditioned casinos. At night in the summer there’s usually a wind, and the temperature drops into the nineties. To tell you the truth, I have some difficulties with my medical conditions during the summer, but the rest of the year is usually great. No earthquakes, mud slides, tornados or hurricanes. They are fairly far along with the drainage system to take care of the occasional torrential flooding. (If it rains in the mountains you can get a wall of water six foot high rushing down at you.)

        Now aren’t you glad you mentioned the temperature again? Take care my friend.


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