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Guys Rules

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mtlieb Find out more about mtlieb
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  • Guys Rules

    Guys' Rules

    We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!

    Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you
    leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports.
    It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
    going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
    almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want
    help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what
    your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
    See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible
    in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and
    void after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
    girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two
    ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we
    meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell
    us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know
    best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
    say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions
    and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
    default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
    a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
    idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do
    that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
    we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are
    lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
    to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
    anything you wear is fine... Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
    you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,
    the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I
    have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know
    men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
    "Some days you're the dog... some days you're the hydrant."

  • #2
    Re: Guys Rules

    I would respond with all of the obvious errors in the "rules" noted above...however I will simply invoke womans rule #1...

    We are always right!

    And for the record that color is Violet - not purple

    Love,
    Lisa
    Knowledge is power ... Stay informed!
    YOU can make a difference - all you have to do is try!

    Dx age 12 current age 46 and counting!
    lost: 5 family members to HCM (SCD, Stroke, CHF)
    Others diagnosed living with HCM (or gene +) include - daughter, niece, nephew, cousin, sister and many many friends!
    Therapy - ICD (implanted 97, 01, 04 and 11, medication
    Currently not obstructed
    Complications - unnecessary pacemaker and stroke (unrelated to each other)

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