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The difference between men and women... [warning HUGE] hehe

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Deedee "family heart murmur" detected in early childhood, HCM diagnosed in 2000, ICD 2010 Find out more about Deedee
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  • The difference between men and women... [warning HUGE] hehe

    Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

    And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

    And then there is silence in the car.

    To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

    And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

    And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

    And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was... let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...let me check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

    And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

    And Roger is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

    And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

    And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty... scumballs!

    And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

    And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

    "Roger," Elaine says aloud.

    "What?" says Roger, startled.

    "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so... (She breaks down, sobbing.)

    "What?" says Roger.

    "I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

    "There's no horse?" says Roger.

    "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.

    "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

    "It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Elaine says.

    There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can,tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work. "Yes," he says.

    Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.

    "What way?" says Roger.

    "That way about time," says Elaine.

    "Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

    Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks. "Thank you, Roger," she says.

    "Thank you," says Roger.

    Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.

    When Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

    The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

    Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

    And that's the difference between men and women.
    »-(¯`·.·´¯)-> HCMA LOVES YOUR HEART <-(¯`·.·´¯)-«
    Murmur detected in childhood (3rd gen, 3 clear siblings)
    Chronic dyspnea, dizziness & palpitations (21+)
    Echocardiogram showing 3X thicknesses 2000
    Cardiac CT 2009 no significant obstruction or plaque (Yay!)
    Cardiac MRI 2010 showing septal scarring (Boo!)
    Verapamil 280mg a day (metoprolol starved extremities)
    ICD MAR 2010 - Canadian Trials St. Jude FORTIFY

  • #2
    Re: The difference between men and women... [warning HUGE] h



    That's a good one.

    Reenie
    Reenie

    ****************
    Husband has HCM.
    3 kids - ages 23, 21, & 19. All presently clear of HCM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: The difference between men and women... [warning HUGE] h

      OH my! I think you have it!

      How silly - but HOW TRUE!

      Lisa
      Knowledge is power ... Stay informed!
      YOU can make a difference - all you have to do is try!

      Dx age 12 current age 46 and counting!
      lost: 5 family members to HCM (SCD, Stroke, CHF)
      Others diagnosed living with HCM (or gene +) include - daughter, niece, nephew, cousin, sister and many many friends!
      Therapy - ICD (implanted 97, 01, 04 and 11, medication
      Currently not obstructed
      Complications - unnecessary pacemaker and stroke (unrelated to each other)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: The difference between men and women... [warning HUGE] h

        sorry it was so long...

        That's a LOT of "setup" for what I consider the funniest part:

        "...they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either."

        The guy part is the punch line but I think the final analysis of the girl part is funnier, LOL cuz it's SO true!

        I made us a "blinkie" - help yourself to it, if you're into blinkies. I'm a hopeless "blinkie-holic" so naturally I needed one for HCMA. If anyone wants a blinkie for anything else, PM me. If you never heard of blinkies, just be aware that those of us with blinkie-holism have hundreds and sometimes thousands of them and we can not help our "condition" so don't mock us, we are doing the best we can with our addiction.

        Should it be "approved" to be used? Hope it's okay. It could say something different on it, as long as it fits... just let me know.

        Deedee
        »-(¯`·.·´¯)-> HCMA LOVES YOUR HEART <-(¯`·.·´¯)-«
        Murmur detected in childhood (3rd gen, 3 clear siblings)
        Chronic dyspnea, dizziness & palpitations (21+)
        Echocardiogram showing 3X thicknesses 2000
        Cardiac CT 2009 no significant obstruction or plaque (Yay!)
        Cardiac MRI 2010 showing septal scarring (Boo!)
        Verapamil 280mg a day (metoprolol starved extremities)
        ICD MAR 2010 - Canadian Trials St. Jude FORTIFY

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: The difference between men and women... [warning HUGE] h

          Thanks Deedee. I love the blinkie. I'm going to borrow it for my sig line somewhere else.

          Reenie
          Reenie

          ****************
          Husband has HCM.
          3 kids - ages 23, 21, & 19. All presently clear of HCM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: The difference between men and women... [warning HUGE] h

            DeeDee - You have just receive permission! that is so cute! I may steal it!

            lisa
            Knowledge is power ... Stay informed!
            YOU can make a difference - all you have to do is try!

            Dx age 12 current age 46 and counting!
            lost: 5 family members to HCM (SCD, Stroke, CHF)
            Others diagnosed living with HCM (or gene +) include - daughter, niece, nephew, cousin, sister and many many friends!
            Therapy - ICD (implanted 97, 01, 04 and 11, medication
            Currently not obstructed
            Complications - unnecessary pacemaker and stroke (unrelated to each other)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: The difference between men and women... [warning HUGE] h

              DeeDee

              how true how true

              men are logical, women are emotional or there attention span is not good unless it's something there interested in, but you gotta love em anyway




              Shirley
              Diagnosed 2003
              Myectomy 2-23-2004
              Husband: Ken
              Son: John diagnosed 2004
              Daughter: Janet (free of HCM)

              Grandchildren: Drew 15,Aaron 13,Karen 9,Connor 9

              Comment

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