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Hollywood Square Responses


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Glen Beamish
Glen Beamish
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  • Hollywood Square Responses

    Here are some of the best responses from the original Hollywood squares stars.
    Q: If your going to make a parachute jump, you should at least be how high?
    A: Charlie Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
    Q: True or false, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?
    A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes.
    Q: According to Cosmo Magazine, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it OK to come out directly and ask him if he's married?
    A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
    Q: Which of your five senses tends to dimish as you get older?
    A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
    Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
    A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
    Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
    A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
    Q: Paul, why do ****'s Angels wear leather?
    A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
    Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow stawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
    A: Charley Weaver: Of course not Peter, I'm too busy growing strawberries!
    Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
    A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
    Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
    A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
    Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
    A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
    Q: When you pat a dog on it's head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
    A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
    Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people.
    A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
    Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of the body, what is it?
    A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
    Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
    A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.
    Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
    A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
    Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
    A: Paul Lynde" Who told you about my elephant?
    Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
    A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
    Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
    A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
    Q: Do female frogs croak?
    A: Paul Lynde: Yes, if you hold their head under the water long enough.
    Every great thing that has ever happened since the beginning of time has started as a single thought in someones mind.
    So if you are capable of thought then you are capable of great things
    Good luck and stay well.

  • #2
    Re: Hollywood Square Responses

    OMG Glen,

    Those are hilarious! Paul Lynde was always my favorite Hollywood Square... (as well as my favorite guest star on Bewitched). What a hoot!

    Thanks for the laugh

    "Some days you're the dog... some days you're the hydrant."


    • #3
      Re: Hollywood Square Responses

      Jim, I think your right about Paul Lynde, he was definetly one of the funniest ever on the show.
      I think this older group were better than the ones they most recently had.
      Every great thing that has ever happened since the beginning of time has started as a single thought in someones mind.
      So if you are capable of thought then you are capable of great things
      Good luck and stay well.


      • #4
        Re: Hollywood Square Responses


        Being a fan of the old Hollywood Squares, I sat here and could hear in my head the voice of each one of those stars answering those questions!!!

        Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with what happens to you.


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