If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ in HCMA Announcements. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. Your Participation in this message board is strictly voluntary. Information and comments on the message board do not necessarily reflect the feelings, opinions, or positions of the Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy Association. At no time should participants to this board substitute information within for individual medical advice. The Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy Association shall not be liable for any information provided herein. All participants in this board should conduct themselves in a professional and respectful manner. Failure to do so will result in suspension or termination. The moderators of the message board working with the HCMA will be responsible for notifying participants if they have violated the rules of conduct for the board. Moderators or HCMA staff may edit any post to ensure it conforms with the rules of the board or may delete it. This community is welcoming to all those with HCM we ask that you remember each user comes to the board with information and a point of view that may differ from that which you hold, respect is critical, please post respectfully. Thank you

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Joke of the day

Collapse

About the Author

Collapse

Lisa Salberg Find out more about Lisa Salberg
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Reenie
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    A woman rushes home, screeches into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags, I won the lottery!"

    The husband says, "Holy Crap!!! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

    "Doesn't matter," she says. "Just get the h*ll out."

    Leave a comment:


  • Lisa Salberg
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    great minds think alike...or at least you TRY to think like me

    Leave a comment:


  • Larry
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    Hey Lisa....read back a few posts to my post of April 28 . I think you just told the "Cliff Notes" version of my joke!

    Leave a comment:


  • Lisa Salberg
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    Quick Visit to the Dentist

    A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible rush. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
    "You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."

    The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."



    Kinda reminds me of a doctor when he says...the ICD wont hurt too bad if it fires!

    Leave a comment:


  • Reenie
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST: She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rich Miller
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    I agree Larry, now a great big AMEN

    Leave a comment:


  • Larry
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    I think that only applies to beer and ale. Women can make coffee.

    Leave a comment:


  • Lisa Salberg
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    AMEN!

    Leave a comment:


  • Dolly W
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    Did you know that it is a sin for a woman to make coffee?

    It's in the Bible. . .

    It says. . .

    Hebrews!

    Leave a comment:


  • Lisa Salberg
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    Ok you both get points for those 2 they were good
    lisa

    Leave a comment:


  • bryan
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one very icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on Thursday and his wife would follow the next day.
    Upon arrival as planned, the husband checked into the hotel and decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail. However he left off one letter in her address and sent the letter without realizing his mistake.
    Meanwhile, in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. She fainted upon reading the first message. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother and noticed the computer screen which read:
    To: My Loving Wife
    From: Your Departed Husband
    Subject: I've Arrived!
    I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been
    prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hopeyour journey is as uneventful as mine was.

    PS - Sure is hot down here!

    Leave a comment:


  • Larry
    replied
    Re: Joke of the day

    A married couple had saved up some hard earned money for a well deserved and needed vacation, that in effect was to be a second honeymoon. It was however to be a very short weekend trip to a tropical island paradise, so time was of the essence.
    As fate would have it, as soon as the couple landed on the island, it happened. A toothache of epic proportions, just in time to ruin the trip. This tooth had been trouble before, and they knew it needed to be extracted.The couple found their way to the local dentist, and the poor woman explained to the dentist how this tooth needed to come out, and come out in a hurry as not to interfere with the honeymoon any more than need be.On the spot she told the dentist that she had decided to have this tooth extracted without the benefit of anesthesia.The dentist went on to explain to the woman that although it would speed up the recovery process, it would be painful beyond description. The woman said that her mind was made up, and there would be no anesthesia. The dentist then said "alright, have it your way...which tooth is it?" to which the woman replied " I don't know." The dentist said "What do you mean you don't know?" At which point the woman turned to her husband and said " Honey, open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is."

    Leave a comment:


  • Lisa Salberg
    replied
    Human resource humor... from the desk of Lisa
    some of my best stories as collected over the past 17 years...
    1. I am late to work because I arrived home last night to find that my chinchilla lost all its hair.
    2. I am sorry but your behavior is not appropriate...What do you mean it is not appropriate to have sex in the elevator during work hours?
    3. I was not really stealing the stuff, I was just storing it at my home..and in my car and at my uncles shop.
    4. No I am sorry but Family Leave does not allow you to visit Italy for the summer to visit your family...even if they are really old.
    5. NO I am not going to move the printer to a different location of the building because the sound is reminds you of your sister when she cried as a baby...and took the attention away from you...oh and how old are you ...55 years old.... (UFF DA!)
    6. Yes you may go home to take your child to the ER, what object did she place up her nose today...oh did the beeds come out ok last week? At least it was not a penny again!
    More to follow....

    Leave a comment:


  • Reenie
    replied
    Originally posted by Toogoofy317
    That was good! I laughed so hard that my poor stomach is killing me! Word of thought! Don't read the joke of the day after stomach surgery


    Mary S.
    Sorry Mary! Next time I'll try to time it better.

    Leave a comment:


  • Toogoofy317
    replied
    That was good! I laughed so hard that my poor stomach is killing me! Word of thought! Don't read the joke of the day after stomach surgery


    Mary S.

    Leave a comment:

Today's Birthdays

Collapse

Working...
X