Facial cancer surgery today

[Pam Alexson]

Well today I had the cancerous lesion on my face ,left cheek removed. The surgeon having never seen me or my lesion before said "oh my, it is a larger area then I anticipated. I am sorry to tell you it is going to leave a very large scar." He said additionally after the biopsy comes back more may need to be taken. He said it is hard to tell visually where the edges of the lesion are exactly. I am trying to be very thankfull about this being caught early but it makes me feel like I am wearing a target on my back. I am not vain as I have tried to let those days go when my looks were once very important and I struggled with always having to keep up appearances but enough is enough . Today I am wallowing in self pity and know that it will pass as everything does. It reminds me of when I once saw a therapist and I asked him when he thought I would have my breakdown. He looked at me and said do you want to have a breakdown ? Do you have the time or energy for one ? I guess he was right I don't need to have one but one test of my strength after another is really pushing it. I know many of you can certainly identify with what I am feeling so thanks for letting me wallow on your shoulders today. I will be better tomorrow. One more thing , a question. He had to cauterize ,said the bleeding was a big problem because of the aspirin qd. I felt strong palpitations during this and asked if it was a diathermy piece of equipment . He said it was sort of one but was safe to use on a defib patient as it was not grounded like a real cauterie tool . It stopped after he stopped using it what do you think? Thanks for any input . Pam

[Reenie]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

Pam, I'm not sure about the cauterizer and the defib, but we are certainly here for you to cry to. You know that. I wish you all the best and I'll pray that they took all they needed to the first time.

Reenie

[Lisa Salberg]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

Pam - I have never met you, never seen a picture and I have no idea what the outer you looks like. I know the inner you, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! You can alway see a reconstructive surgeon to touch up the scar if you want.
Yes, the equipment may have interfered with your device, you may want to check in with a defib clinic and check with them if they want to see you.

Be well!
Lisa

[mtlieb]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

Hey sweetie,

You have been there for me with every single post i have ever made on this board, and i am here for you anytime you need me. Hang in there, okay? We've both been through a lot together... HCM, cancer, and god only knows what else. You stay here with me, and i promise to do the same.

It gets so discouraging at times that i've felt like giving up more times than i care to think about. Sometimes it feels like your whole body was just put together wrong, and there's just too many problems to deal with. But i'm still hanging around, and so are you, so let's just accept the fact that somebody wants to keep us here regardless

You take care,

Jim

[cynthiaG]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

Pam,
I'm here for you too....dittos to what Lisa said...I think we've all gone through tough times and you don't have to apologize for anything. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers...hang in there.

Cynthia

[Toogoofy317]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

Pam,

You have been here for me a lot the past few weeks. So anytime you need a shoulder I'm here. PM if you just want to talk and I'll give you my cell number. If it weren't for my HCM friends I'm sure I would have went completly nuts by now!

A big thanks to each and everyone of you who care so much.

Mary S.

[felixdacat]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

I have to agree with the others. you were really here for felix and myself during the really hard times. I am so sorry you have to go thru all this as well. if anyone deserves some good fortune, its you.

sandy

[Donna]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

Pam,I am sorry that you are going through this and hope that you can get your mind around it and get through it as up bet as you help keep other people. I do enjoy reading your notes to other people. I can always count on you for good advice and a smile most of the time. let us know when you need to talk.

[Linda]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

Pam, We'll be thinking about you, hang in there. As for the cautery, if you think it affected your heart rate, you are probably right. Do as Lisa says and have your device checked. Please keep us posted, hope you can rest well tonite and feel much better tommorrow. Linda

[Laoshur]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

Dear Pam,

I am praying that you will recover quickly, they will find no other lesions ever, the biopsy will show no need for further surgery, and that most of all, you will have great peace during this time. Let others care for you and rest and relax!

Rhoda

[Pam Alexson]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

I thank you all so much for your kind words , sincere understanding, friendship, support and advise. I am still overwhelmed with how wonderfull everyone of you are . You cannot imagine how you helped me get through the day. It kept going through my brain what the character Chunck in the movie Goonies said to all the kids who befriended him instead of running away in horror because of the way he looked. "HEY YOU GUYS, Chunck luvs you. " My face is sore today and bled some last night but I'm sure it will get better each day. I am going to heed your advise and notify my EP this am. So once again thanks for all you do everyday. Pam

[Lisa Salberg]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

First to Pam, I hope you are feeling better today and that you know how much we all do care.

To the rest of you...well thanks alot...my makeup is a mess - I am so amazed at the level of support you all have for each other. I know I have said it befor...but I will say it again - thank you all for making my dreams come true. 10 yrs ago who would have dreamed this level of support, friendship and advise would be available to a group of strangers from around the world!

Pam - You hang in there!!

Big hugs to all!
Lisa

[Pam Alexson]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

I'm sorry your make-up is running goes with your job. Lisa I think that you can be very proud indeed for doing such a great service to all of us and additionally fitting in the many tasks you have with this board. Your also having to deal with your share of personal problems as a result of HCM,makes you exceptional. You are like the great parent who guides us all and inspires our lives. Rather significant at this special time of the year Easter time, to acknowledge it, would you all agree? You are all so equally inspiring. An additional note, I have to go to the EP at 2:30 today to be sure that the DOCTOR that did my surgery did not change the settings on my devise with his cautery tool! The good news they tell me is that I did not sustain a shock from this episode! I can not believe that I told him in advance and he dismissed it . Actually we do all believe with all the experiences we have had combined that this could have happened don't we? If I had not heard the sizzling and smelt my flesh burning I would not have said anything and he may have kept it up long enough to cause a shock .I'm being too generous here and think he must have been overwhelmed with the bleeding and forgot what I said? Probably not huh? Well I'll let you know what happens. Thanks . Pam

[Lisa Salberg]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

Let us know how you do at the doctors.

Take care,
Lisa

[Reenie]

Re: Facial cancer surgery today

Pam, please update us after your appointment. I'm sorry that this is yet another trial. You'll come through with flying colors!

Reenie