I would greatly appreciate the forum to indulge me in a personal bout of mushiness, post-op.
One much unexpected result of my recent surgery is my falling in love again with my wife Sandy.
Was she a rock of strength during a difficult time?
No, in fact she broke down one or twice and at times teetered on the edge of sanity.
Was she a Florence Nightingale, angelic creature who made all around her feel warm in her presence?
Not even close. She was pushy, sometimes nagging, and she didn’t always pay attention to my wishes.
Sandy and I have had an unusual but romantic past. For me it was love at first site, but I didn’t realize it for 9 months. However, once I realized my feelings for her, it took me over two more years to win her heart. I had to ask her to marry me twice!
Because of that delay, I have always had a lingering doubt in the back of my mind about her feeling towards me. Although I felt she loved me, I never felt it was the type of commitment that had a perfect chance at surviving intact when you navigate the storms of marriage.
These doubts weren’t helped by the normal changeover in a marriage to the mundane day by day. She gave me two wonderful children and our love evolved more into the wholeness of being a family. The couple, Sandy & Felix mostly disappeared.
Sandy has led a somewhat sheltered life. My surgery actually was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. You have to be sheltered when the worst thing that happened to you is what could turn out to be successful surgery to a family member.
I have lost loved ones and have also had numerous negative experiences that involved friends and family. However, this surgery was the hardest thing I ever went through that involves me directly.
Seeing Sandy’s difficulties during my recovery week, feeling her pain, empathizing with her vulnerability, and those last doubts of her love for me went away. I also reassessed my feelings toward her, and realized that I loved her more then ever.
Now, I still have some narcotics running through my bloodstream. And major surgery is always going to be something that brings the emotions to the surface. Still, I knew that the possibility of a successful relief of symptoms could give me a whole new outlook on life. Now I also have a brand new relationship to traverse that new life.