Big Fat Wuss Boy

[Toogoofy317]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

Lisa,

YOU ARE ABSOLUTLY RIGHT! I am learning slowly but surely!

Mary

[Lisa Salberg]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

Now dont make it sound like I did anything behind your back...I was in the car with you!
You need to learn your limits, as do we all. Sometimes our limits may change and we need to make adjustments in our lives. I have learned this all too well myself over the years. Changes do not come in big things - they are normally the little ones and we all must pay attention to them...or they will jump up and let us know they are there.

You will do fine, you will learn to pace yourself because YOU know that you have a great deal to offer the world and must be healthy to do it.

Be well,
Lisa

[Toogoofy317]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

I second what everyone else has said. This past year has not been too good for me. Let's see in the last year I've had my gallbladder removed, DVT's due to the gall badder removal, a port implanted, a port removed because it failed to heal, diagnosis of Crohn's disease which really stinks, and a horrible battle with pneumonia. And several admits due to CHF. There was a while when I just wanted to give everything up. But my friends here and at home helped me to pull through it.

My biggest problem is that I drive myself to hard! I hit a brick wall and pay for it. It kills me just sitting around the house resting when I can be more productive with my time!

Let's just say after my little ordeal this week I am not looking forward to calling Dr. Maron on Monday. Lisa told him already what I was doing and I am sure I will hear about it. And I deserve every bit of it!

mary s.

[Sarah]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

dude ---this is the best place to complain!!! complain here and then you don't feel like you've dumped on your friends and family who don't get it.

plus, you just have to vent sometimes.

hang in there, but don't promise not to complain --that isn't good for you, either.

take care,
s

[mtlieb]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

Thanks for the messages everyone. I'll be fine. Sorry i whined. I've been on antibiotics for ten straight weeks now for various reasons, so perhaps that's a factor in the fatigue issue as well. Thanks again. I'll be good and not complain anymore.

[LynnS]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

Bill - thank you for putting into words what I have often found difficult to articulate about balance and HCM:

1. Even when everything is in balance and I'm feeling pretty good, I'm not ever very far away from getting imbalanced somehow and feeling terrible, physically and emotionally.

My experience with being diagnosed with HCM is short compared to so many others - I was diagnosed just in April 2002. But as I look back I've been having symptoms and effects from it since as far back as I can remember. I fight not to fall into old habits of going either 'full speed' and then paying the price or 'sitting idle' and not liking life or myself.

Jim - I'm so glad you started this thread. I too am often in awe of everyone and his/her ability to cope/move forward day to day. Despite my myectomy in Aug 2002 I still have symptoms and fight my body's limits each day. I recently started back to work after a 3.5 year hiatus after having my daughter. I only work 2 days a week but the balance and focus I now require to keep my body in check is tedious at best. I become frustrated at times and still often wonder, "what's my problem, why can't I just go like everyone else"? Apparently I still have a touch of denial and anger in me! Some days are better than others, some weeks are better than others, but invariably my pillow and I always have 'face time' an afternoon or two a week!

All the best to everyone!
Lynn

[Reenie]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy



You all needed a big hug!

[swinand]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

Jim, as several responses have mentioned there are good days and some not so good days. On the not so good days you just do the best you can, and maybe even slow down a little bit. I helps. I used to wake up alot with night sweats, still do occaisionally. One thing that has worked for me is to watch what I eat in the evening. I try to eat a smaller evening meal, try not to eat after 7:00 or 7:30 at the latest. Before I tried that I was extremely uncomfortable in the evening and had trouble sleeping, heart pounding and night sweats too. These have decreased significantly since I began this regimen. Plus, the added benefit is I think I actually dropped a few pounds. At least my clothes fit better.
Are you sure all your meds are in balance? Could your staff medications be interacting with your HCM meds? Good luck, and don't get down on yourself, you've come this far and it sounds like you have a lot of good things happening for you too.

Steve.

[Bill]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

Jim:

I've been taking beta blockers for 30 years for my symptoms but my HCM wasn't diagnosed until last Feb. When that happened the doc switched me from Inderal to Atenolol and quadrupled the dose (from 20mg/day to 80 mg/day). The new med didn't work for me, I started getting tachycardia symptoms again and the increased med dosage made me exhausted and depressed -- I felt like I couldn't get out of my own way.

My HCM isn't as serious as that suffered by many others on this board. Still, this little medication problem caused me some serious problems for six months!

I learned a couple of lessons from this:

1. Even when everything is in balance and I'm feeling pretty good, I'm not ever very far away from getting imbalanced somehow and feeling terrible, physically and emotionally.

2. I think HCM and its treatment contains a significant psychological factor. We've talked about HCM-related panic attacks here. Also, I think any illness related to the heart contains the potential for some depression. And beta blockers also seem to contribute to fatigue and feelings of being down-in-the-dumps.

Wish I had some advice. I don't. Sometimes I feel pretty good; when I don't, I just try to put one foot in front of the other until I do.

Anyway, I'm glad you brought this up. Sometimes humans try to put a big happy face on everything, and that isn't how things are.

Bill

[Glen Beamish]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

Well since your not going to off yourself, I won't send you that Richard Simmons dancing to the oldies tape for Christmas.

Venting once in awhile is good for you.

[Lisa Salberg]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

well I did not want to be the one to tell ya but...

Pity parties are allowed...sometimes....

No I do not think you are about to off yourself, but a little YOU time would sure help YOU feel better.

Be well (not a request...an order )

Lisa

[mtlieb]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

Okay...

Perhaps I worded my post somewhat badly... because now I feel like I've been plunged suddenly into an Anthony Robbins info-mercial and you're all trying to keep me from 'offing' myself. Please be assured that this is not the case. All in all I'm feeling pretty good... I've been given this great opportunity for Grad School, I have some goals and direction, and I'm generally excited about starting a new and interesting phase of my life.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to write. I do appreciate it.

Physically though, I am beat. I've had this infection for such a long time, I think maybe it's just worn me down. I haven't slept well in months, I wake up with night-sweats, my heart pounding, and a few other annoying things that I've already mentioned in other posts. I'm just so tired I can't think straight tonight, so I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm whining. I try not to do that. The whole HCM thing came right on the heels of getting rid of the cancer, and perhaps I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself as well.

And Glen, you are correct, I could certainly stand to lose some weight! Thank you for your candor, as I am one to appreciate that from my friends. One only has to look at my chubby (but cute) little face pic to the left to see that I need to drop a few pounds. I debated about adding the photo, but I think it's always nice to see who you are chatting with. Yikes! Now that's a face only a mother could love

By the way... Lisa, you are wrong. I really am nuts!

Thanks for your advice everyone. I think I just need to get rid of this bug and get some sleep, and perhaps everything will look better

Jim

[annamc]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

I just read from another post, I think your Staph post that you got a new cardiologist that you like. I'm glad that you did, some doctors just don't want to listen to us no matter what we say, right?


Take care, Anna

[cynthiaG]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

Jim,
First of all, your body is using up energy fighting the staph infection....and you are NOT alone. I get depressed some days when I don't have as much energy (by early evening). I hate it when I see a woman running her 2 miles a day when I'm driving my son to school every morning. I wish I could do that so badly. But I try as often as I can to take my dog for a long walk at the field nearby and feel good after I do that...but trust me, no one hereis ALWAYS on top of the world. As Lisa mentioned, you have your good days and not so good days and I take advantage of the good days...I seem to have more energy in the mornings...hang in there!

[annamc]

Re: Big Fat Wuss Boy

Awe, Jim, I'm sorry your feeling depressed. Are you depressed over HCM or something else in your life? I read that you have a staph infection and that I heard is really bad, so that may be the cause of feeling so crummy.

so...

How do I do it? Well, each day I get up and thank God that I have been given another day (granted I forget sometimes to thank Him). Also, I think the other key is to recognize the things you have in your life and the people in it as well as doing something you love to do to get you through.

Take care Jim and I'm sure with a bit of lifestyle analysis to see if there's changes that you could make to get the WHOLE Jim to feel better, like Lisa suggested, that you will find yourself feeling loads better. Also, good advice from Glen...


-Anna