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heya jut a question


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  • heya jut a question


    how are ya all doing ? great i hope

    just a question
    well my dad been my dad ,and he thinks he" knows it all"has a apointment with our doctor soon (we r under the same doctor)

    and wel im gona get a little bit personly here but its the internet and the chance of any one reading this i know in person ,is pretty slim ,but i suffer from depression and self harm dont judgy me,

    any way getting back to my point is dad wonts to tell our doctor about my depresion and self harm , witch i think has nothing to do with my heart but he seems 2 think it is ,is he right ?or is he jsut been a "no it all"?

    god he can be so anoying sumtimes
    take care
    Forever Young

    I was diagnosedwith HCM at 6.
    Went into Atrial fibrillation so had a ICD put in at 16
    Went into Heart failure at 17
    Got a heart transplant at 21(2009)

  • #2
    Margie ,

    This is a toughie, but I will try to help here.

    You are still young enough for your dad to be very involved in your care and welfare and I think personally he may be looking of ways to assist you and this shows that he cares very much about you and your welfare. For you , I know it may sound or look like he is just poking his nose in and that he should but out. As a parent who has had to deal with similar with one of my children and a nephew , I can only tell you that it is heart wrenching to feel powerless to help our young ones. We ourselves do not possess all the answers and it is a wise parent who seeks the advise of professionals for someone who is reaching out for help. Now you may not feel you need his or anyones help, but what have you got to lose . If he is seeking an opinion and guidance then it shows he is just not trying to violate your privacy.

    Margie the first step to conquering a problem is to first admit that you have a problem, you have already done that here. When a young person as yourself steps forward and discloses that they have an issue , it shows strength and willingness to at least see another side( help), a sign that you are approaching this issue from a mature stance and that you are receptive to the offerings.

    I tell my child who is now grown , I can no longer poke my nose in and govern her choices, but that I am always here and if she needs me I will help. I only ask that she meet me part way and be willing to face her issue with me . Her issues effects me too as it breaks my heart ( which has very little tolerance to breakage)to see her in pain and struggling. Therefore her issues are shared. I am sure this is also true for your dad and you.

    I try to use the analogy with my child;

    "I wake up everyday and say , well, I still have HCM. I have choices , but if I make the wrong ones for my heart health it will only make things worse for my heart, me and for my family. So I better make the right choices."

    Now do I like it ? **** no !! I would much rather be doing countless other things. Survival in life requires hard work and attending to many details that are specific to each of us individually. I tell my children there are grey areas ( the in- betweens) . I have found that most important things and success around our issues requires us to strive for the positive side not the negative side and to try and stay out of the in- between area. An example of this is : either I have a chronic genetic heart problem or I don't, I have a broken leg or I don't , If I am a gambler: I have a gambling problem or I don't. If I suffer from alchoholic behavior : then I am an alcoholic or I am not.
    See with these examples how there can be no in-between? When this is straight you then know where your choices have to be.

    You have admitted your issue, so let your dad try to help you get to the positive side by helping you get the right care. The first step may well be by talking to your doctor.

    Won't you give it a try? Let us know how you are doing, we all care.

    Dx @ 47 with HOCM & HF:11/00
    Guidant ICD:Mar.01, Recalled/replaced:6/05 w/ Medtronic device
    Lead failure,replaced 12/06.
    SF lead recall:07,extracted leads and new device 2012
    [email protected] Tufts, Boston:10/5/03; age 50. ( [email protected] 240 mmHg ++)
    Paroxysmal A-Fib: 06-07,2010 controlled w/sotalol dosing
    Genetic mutation 4/09, mother(d), brother, son, gene+
    Mother of 3, grandma of 3:Tim,27,Sarah,33w/6 y/o old Sophia, 5 y/o Jack, Laura 34, w/ 5 y/o old Benjamin


    • #3
      From a purely medical standpoint, it is actually very important for your doctor to know your medical history --all of it-- so that when he or she is making decisions about medication and treatment they are making those decisions with your entire situation in mind --for example, beta-blockers are the most common drug used for HCM but they can cause depression, so the doctor needs to know this and perhaps try a calcium channel blocker instead so that you aren't put at risk of depression again.

      Many, many medical "errors" are made because a doctor wasn't told about vitamins or supplements or other medical issues that someone has because they just didn't think it was related, but everything that happens in your body is related to everything else, one way or the other.

      If you are cool with it, maybe you can talk to your doctor yourself if you want to keep your dad out of it. My mom and I had the same doctor for 7 years and he never talked to her about me or me about her (I was 19 when I started seeing him).

      I hope your depression is under control now --how are you doing?



      • #4
        Margie, I have to agree with the others here, that your dad is just showing he loves you and he cares enough to try to help you. I hope that you understand this and aren't angry with him for it. Sarah and Pam are right, too, about the doctors needing to know a lot in order to treat you appropriately. Let your dad help you. If you want to talk, although we're a world away, there is always someone here who will be willing to try to help any way we can.


        Husband has HCM.
        3 kids - ages 23, 21, & 19. All presently clear of HCM.