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Girlfriend with Heart Problems


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  • Girlfriend with Heart Problems

    Hi, I just found out that my girlfriend has some kind of heart problem. She asked me to help with an email problem and found an email from this site.

    Have you any of had friends or family members who didn't tell you about some of their heart problems? I am wondering how I can get her to tell me about whatever is going on with her. Any suggestions?

    Sorry but that's all I have to go on for now. Hopefully more info soon. I decided to join the group to see what I could learn.


  • #2

    While I applaud your desire to learn more about HCM in order to help your girlfriend, I think it's pretty un-cool how you found out about it. If your girlfriend has emails from this site, then she may be a member here who is struggling with a new diagnosis, and is frightened or unsure how to share this information with family and friends. Personally, if I had a boyfriend who went through my private mail, I'm not sure I would trust him with this kind of information either.

    You need to talk to your girlfriend.

    "Some days you're the dog... some days you're the hydrant."


    • #3

      I didn't go out maliously looking into her email. She asked me for help with her computer and email. It was purely by accident. If you have ever had any type of computer or email problems, you know that it can sometimes be difficult or relatively easy to correct and sometimes you have to check settings, etc to see what is going on and that's what I did. I don't know her passwords, etc nor would I attempt to get them. Haven't you ever discovered something mistakenly? Then you should know what I mean.



      • #4

        I don't know who your girlfriend is, but that doesn't matter. My suggestion is to sit quietly down with her and let her tell her. Maybe she is afraid of rejection or possible the heart problem. She really needs to be able to confide in someone. Is she living with her parents?

        Also, you may try reading various topics here, that way you might understand a little more of what is going on with her.

        It isn't easy when you first find out you have this disease, but with support you can cope with less stress.

        Please let your girlfriend know we are thinking about her and to chime in with questions, to vent, or just to introduce herself.


        • #5

          Just by posting here I am sure you have only the best of intentions to learn more and for that I think your girlfriend is lucky. She is likely going through some issues coming to grips with the information and diagnosis and support and love is the best thing you can offer during this difficult time. I would suggest you tell her what you have found in her emails, honestly if she really did not want you to know anything she would have taken the computer elsewhere for service, so I do not think she will be upset with you for seeing something that was in the emails, she obviously trusts you.

          I would be more then happy to speak to you both, together or separately to answer any questions that I can.

          Thank you for caring enough to find out more about HCM.

          Be well,
          Knowledge is power ... Stay informed!
          YOU can make a difference - all you have to do is try!

          Dx age 12 current age 46 and counting!
          lost: 5 family members to HCM (SCD, Stroke, CHF)
          Others diagnosed living with HCM (or gene +) include - daughter, niece, nephew, cousin, sister and many many friends!
          Therapy - ICD (implanted 97, 01, 04 and 11, medication
          Currently not obstructed
          Complications - unnecessary pacemaker and stroke (unrelated to each other)


          • #6

            A good place for you to start is to read all of the site, not just the board, so you have an understanding of HCM and what the symptoms are.

            I would tell your gf that you love her and care for her and want to support her through rough spots. She needs to know that having HCM isn't going to change your feelings towards her.

            She may be concerned about dying suddenly or her ability to have kids or both. The vast majority of HCMers live a full life span and many have kids --but each child will have a 50/50 shot of having HCM. However, the fear is real and the risk is real, so the more you can be supportive of her feelings about HCM (which can include fear, anger, resentment, depression), the more she may be able to open up to you.

            Let her know that she's just as great with HCM as without.



            • #7
              Thank You

              Thank you for the support. I will check out the site a little further and hopefully take to my girlfriend soon.



              • #8
                C ,

                I agree with the advise you have recieved so far, learn all you can. Possibly I am thinking that your girlfriend wants to tell you and that is why she let you work on her computer, she must have suspected that you would see her e-mails. She may be waiting for you to bring it up and may have been stumped as to how to start. I think that nothing in life is really an accident. Just my thoughts.

                Dx @ 47 with HOCM & HF:11/00
                Guidant ICD:Mar.01, Recalled/replaced:6/05 w/ Medtronic device
                Lead failure,replaced 12/06.
                SF lead recall:07,extracted leads and new device 2012
                [email protected] Tufts, Boston:10/5/03; age 50. ( [email protected] 240 mmHg ++)
                Paroxysmal A-Fib: 06-07,2010 controlled w/sotalol dosing
                Genetic mutation 4/09, mother(d), brother, son, gene+
                Mother of 3, grandma of 3:Tim,27,Sarah,33w/6 y/o old Sophia, 5 y/o Jack, Laura 34, w/ 5 y/o old Benjamin