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Great Knowing I am not alone

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Virginia Find out more about Virginia
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  • Burton Borrok
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Okay, take a deep breath and I’ll tell you how rain was invented.

    The farmers in France were having a rough time of it. All the precipitation that fell was either dew (not enough to water their crops) and frozen stuff like hail, sleet or snow (all of which damaged their crops). So they were reduced to watering their crops by hand from the streams that came down from the mountains. Not only was this arduous work, it severely limited the amount of the crops they could grow.

    One day they decided to take action on this matter. They pooled their resources and hired Professor La Chell to invent a form of liquid precipitation which would be sufficient to water their crops, yet not so cold that it would freeze it. After accepting the assignment, on the first night Professor La Chell took a red pill, put it on a plate and set it on his windowsill. By next morning nothing had happened. On the second night Professor La Chell put a white pill on a plate and set that on his windowsill. Again nothing happened. On the third night Professor La Chell put a blue pill on a plate and he set that on the windowsill as he had done before. But this time, by morning, the heavens had opened up and there was liquid precipitation everywhere. The farmers had gathered in front of Professor La Chell’s house and they were happily dancing and singing in all that liquid precipitation.

    To celebrate this remarkable achievement they had a big banquet, during which they gave the good professor La Chell the honor of naming this wonderful new precipitation. He thought for a while, and then announced he was going to name it after his wife. That is why, to this day, when the heavens open up and there is liquid precipitation all over the place you will always hear someone remark – Larraine La Chell.
    Burt

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  • Virginia
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Ok Burt I did mention I have HCM with stage 2 heart failure and currently in an A-Fib episode and cannot breathe....
    You are not helping my breathing by making me laugh so much....but I am sure enjoying it. So keep it coming......I will just keeping gasping for air.

    Leave a comment:


  • Burton Borrok
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Oh yes, I’m a past master at kvetching.

    You asked where I got all my insight and knowledge from. Well – -

    It all began when I was born – a month too soon.
    My ma was frightened by a runaway saloon.
    Pa was forced to be a hobo, because he played the oboe,
    And the oboe is clearly understood
    To be an ill wind that know one blows good.

    I’ll never forget the morning that grandpa ate the awning
    To impress a pretty lady, that went for men who were shady.
    And Uncle Josiah of the great ‘Frisco fire,
    Ran off to Hawiia with the old Erie cow.
    Which was lovingly invented, and thereupon presented,
    A rolling pin that strikes, and then goes - POW.

    And I’m the result of these twisted eugenics,
    Of a long, long line of family bats.
    I design - - women’s hats.
    HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!

    If you don’t like that explanation, how about this –

    Friends, I should like to delve into a Slavic mood –
    Into a song my father wrote for me when I was only three weeks old.
    He used to take me on his knee and say –
    Kolyac my little darling, it is time for you to go out in the world and lahrn the facts of life.

    So I packed my little casink and I went.
    I wandered over strange williges, and prit-ty cities,
    And then – and then I met my first womance.

    She was gorgeous and sassionately beautiful,
    When she walked –was like a little gazelle strolling in the pasture
    And when she spoke, when she spoke, her voice was like the voice of angels - -
    SOFT AND MEL-LOW!

    With great affection for Danny Kaye, and his writer and wife by a previous marriage – Sylvia Fine.
    Burt

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  • Ronnie
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Bravo Burt-

    You guessed NY. I was born & lived in Washington Heights, for a few years, then we moved to the Bronx, then we moved to Detroit. People always guess I'm from NY, even tho I don't have much of an accent (compared to the rest of my family), I gues it's "my easy going, relaxed, sweet" personality!
    Sorry to hear you've given up on the Olympic "Catch" Events-how about the "Kvetch" Events?

    Leave a comment:


  • Virginia
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Hi Burt

    Boy you tell good stories and I really enjoy them. Some make me laugh and that I really need.

    I lived in Coram for a short while.

    I seen you had a birthday not long ago. Belated Happy Birthday.

    Where do you get all you knowledge and insight from?

    Leave a comment:


  • Burton Borrok
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Hey Virginia,
    I knocked around Long Island too. Hollis, Cambria Heights, Flushing, Little Neck, Rosedale, Laurelton, Elmont, Hempstead, East Meadow, Dix Hills – Huntington, used to travel through Flushing every day. Where did you live on the Island?

    I kept my boat in Northport, and used to sail past the Vanderbilt estate in Centerport on my way into Long Island Sound. - - - Ready for another story?

    Cornelius Vanderbilt built this gorgeous Mansion on the point of Centerport, and he built the Vanderbilt parkway about thirty-five miles from Manhattan to his home. To get the easements necessary for the right of way, he had to allow public use of the road – but that’s beside the point. As I said, he built this beautiful home and even built a large patio made of marble – and there’s the rub. When it rained or whenever the patio got wet it was worth your life to walk on it – slippery as an oiled ice-rink.

    Anyhow, frequent visitors to his home were Albert Einstein and Jimmy Duranty. In the evenings they often played together, Jimmy at the piano and Albert on his violin. What I would have given to be there. Well, one morning they were woken early to go out on one of the small Vanderbilt sailboats and do some fishing. On the path down to the boathouse Jimmy picked up a stick and started banging on every tree they passed. When asked what the heck he thought he was doing, Jimmy, who was used to sleeping until noon, replied, “If I’m up no dang bird is going to sleep.” It was on this sailboat that Albert made the comment on what the countries he lived in would say about him if his theory proved right – or wrong. I won’t repeat it here, but for those who are interested, I guess you could find it someplace on the internet.

    Now, wasn’t that a fun story – and true.
    Burt

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  • Virginia
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Well Burt I was born in the Bronx at Westchester Square Hospital. Then moved to Long Island. My father died at the age of 37. Which we believe today he had HCM.

    So back to the Bronx, until I was 19 then to Brooklyn when I got married had three children and now we are in Jersey for 25 years.

    It just amazes me how you knew... Of course it had to be the accent some things you just don't lose. Or the attitude........

    I mean between saying Fordham Road and Poe Park was almost to accurate. You were off by ten blocks.

    Leave a comment:


  • Burton Borrok
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Well, do you have a light dusting of flour on you? Or is that make-up? It’s hard to see from here. But from your accent I suspect you’re from New Yoak too.

    Actually, I was born in Bellerose, Queens, New York – on a kitchen table, after a Chinese dinner. I guess this explains a lot of things.

    When I had my country music record company I gave a life history of one of the artists. I said he was born in a covered wagon headed west. I then explained that his mother was being driven to the hospital from the east end of town, in a Ford station wagon. She didn’t make it, and a friendly cop helped her deliver the baby. A neighbor, wishing to afford her some privacy threw a tarp over the Ford – so he was born in a covered wagon – headed west.

    Some day I’ll tell you how rain, and time itself, was invented. I got a million of them.
    Burt

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  • Ronnie
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Yeah Burt-

    How did you know, where she's from? Can you guess where I'm from, originally? Can you guess the Hospital?

    Leave a comment:


  • Burton Borrok
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    OK, I’ll tell all.
    When the area was still under Dutch rule, a Mr. Bronk (not sure of the spelling) built a flour mill on a river that was named after him. When the British took over the spelling was changed to The Bronx River. The county was named after the river, and The Bronx is the only location that starts with the word ‘The’ – mostly it’s rivers that start with that word. – The Mississippi, the Columbia, the Hudson, etc.

    In any case, when Mr. Bronk was grinding all that flour the local winds blue some of it all over the area that became The Bronx. Ever since, if you look closely, you can spot a Bronx-ite by the light dusting of flour on them.

    Interesting side issue. The Dutch of the time thought that whirlpools were the work of the devil, trying to pull you under and drown you. A messenger was sent up to the area that is now the Bronx, and not having a boat, he tried to swim cross at the junction of the East River and the Hudson. Part way across he was caught in a whirlpool and he blew his signaling trumpet to frighten away the devil. It must have worked because he did make it safely to the other side – “In spite of the devil.” To this day, that intersection of the rivers still carries the Dutch name – “Spiten Divel.”

    So there you go – more then you ever cared to know about the area, and how to spot a local.
    Burt

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  • Virginia
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    ok Burt give it up.... How do you know I am amazed. I was raised on Bathgate and Tremont then moved to 200th and Perry. How do you know?

    You in intel or what???

    Leave a comment:


  • Burton Borrok
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Just North of Fordum Road and the Concourse - one block North of Poe Park. How bout that? Can I spot them or what?
    Burt

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  • Virginia
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Well Burt from your lips to Gods ears. I doubt they will be home sooner because my son is in intel. So he can go anywhere anytime whenever and we don't need to know about it. Love that intel business.

    We are so proud of him because is job is in the new age of technology. To bad we didn't have it wars and wars ago.

    Yes you have to love these people. My son in law is a firefighter. My niece is a nurse, my cousin (now deceased) was a detective in New York.

    Oh by the way you are right. I am from the Bronx. Born and raised there. Some things we never out grow......

    I just wish he would send my daughter in law and grandson's home, sooner than later. We all miss them on both sides of the family.

    Leave a comment:


  • Burton Borrok
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    Hi Virginia,
    My wife had two brothers who were career military – air force. I recently wrote of one who had a bypass.

    You’ve got to love these people who are ready to put their lives on the line to defend our freedoms and well being. That includes the military, police, fire and emergency workers. While I’m at it, nurses rank pretty high on my list also.

    My nephew was born in Japan, but he still looks occidental – no, not accidental. With Mr. Bush’s recent statement that he will be pulling troops out of Europe and Asia – just maybe your son will be able to rotate home a little sooner. Maybe?
    Burt

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  • Reenie
    replied
    Re: Great Knowing I am not alone

    I have several friends in Okinawa but haven't been there myself. I hope they love it there. I know how you feel. When my son was born we took the first flight out as soon as he was old enough. He was 3 1/2 weeks old on his first flight, trans-Pacific! What an experience.

    Reenie

    Leave a comment:

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